Info
Hello housemates-to-be!
It is I, your friendly housing manager.
At least a few of you have written seeking more information about the house and its goings-on, so I’ve compiled this guide, which I hope you’ll find helpful. But if you have additional questions, please feel free to let me know.
1. Chores
We all share this house, and we all have a shared responsibility to create the kind of living environment that we want to be a part of. Chores are an important part of that – they aren’t just a responsibility that you agreed to when you signed your lease; they’re a responsibility that you have to each other – because when someone doesn’t clean the stove (for example) it’s the people you live with who suffer as a result.
The list of chores rotates monthly, and can be found just above the rent box on the first floor. It’s posted publicly for a reason – not just so that YOU know what your chore is, but so that everyone else knows as well. You’re all adults, and you’re all expected to hold each other accountable for the chores you’ve agreed to do for each other.
The chore inspection that Mirissa does every Sunday night, between 10 PM and 2 AM, is intended to supplement this mutual accountability. So when she sees chores that appear undone, she photographs them, and emails these photos to the house email list, which includes everyone who lives here. So if you don’t want your housemates calling you a “chore non-doer” beneath their breath – and who wants that? – you should make sure to do your chores.
Mirissa may also impose a $30 fine for chores that are left undone. She doesn’t like doing this – and I know this because I know her very well – but she will if chores remain persistently undone or forgotten. If and when fines are imposed, that will also be announced over the house email list.
If you’re leaving on a jet plane, and you don’t know when you’ll be back again, you should find someone else to do your chores while you’re away. When you’ve made these arrangements, don’t forget to amend the chore list so that it reflects the new responsibilities.
2. House Email List
Those of us who live in this house at any given time are united in a common email list, to which anyone can post. But please do so using good judgment and discretion. A few examples:
1) "Does anyone know who owns that spaceship in the alley? It's double-parked, and I can't get out."
2) "We need to have a house meeting at 8 PM on Sunday to discuss the function of the conjunction junction. Be there or be square."
3) "My funk-muzak-new age-hard rock fusion band is playing at the Dollar Store on Thursday afternoon. Come check us out!!"
Simply email 5026house at googlegroups.com and everyone will get the message. If you’re just moving in, you’ll be added on September 1st.
3. House Meetings
Our first house meeting of the year will be in late September or early October – Mirissa will send around a doodle poll. This first meeting is a good opportunity to get to know your new housemates better, to ask questions, and to enjoy the free pizza and beer that the owners have often been kind enough to treat us to. Be there, or you’ll be missed.
Other house meetings will be held throughout the year on an as-needed basis, but they’re rarely needed more often than quarterly. We often know when they’re needed by looking at the “House Meeting Agenda” poster near the rent drop box – when it shows that there are a lot of things to talk about, that’s a good sign that there should be a house meeting. But in the meanwhile, writing your agenda items there serves to notify the rest of us of the problem you’ve identified. So if you think we should all be reminded at the house meeting to wash our smelly bathroom towels (for example), say so here – and you might find that everyone has already done so when house meeting rolls around.
Listing agenda items on this public board is also a kindness to the people who won’t be able to make it to the meeting. Because if they have a strong opinion about something listed on the agenda, they can share their opinions in advance, over the house email list or by having me share them at the meeting.
4. The Owners
The owners are Clive and Ron, two brothers who have an unusual commitment to providing a good living environment for students. You’ll see this commitment manifested in a variety of ways throughout your time here, and the aforementioned pizza and beer is only one example. Another unnecessary generosity: the owners provide the toilet paper, paper towels, dish soap, sponges, hand soap, and garbage bags for the house. These are not things you are entitled to in your lease; they are provided out of kindness, and so should not be abused or overused.
5. The Housing Manager
Mirissa also has an unusual commitment to providing a good living environment. And again, you’ll see this manifested throughout the house in a variety of ways – this guide being only one example. She does all this despite the fact that she only receives a nominal reduction in rent for her troubles. This means that Mirissa is not a full-time housing manager, and that many of the things that she does for the house she does out of kindness, and not because they are her formal responsibilities.
6. Things Fall Apart
Notice something breaking (or broken) in the house? If it’s urgent, tell Mirissa. If not – that is, if a 3-month wait to get it fixed wouldn’t matter too much – add it to the “Non-Urgent Maintenance List” next to the rent drop box.
7. Internet Use
When you use the house internet for streaming and gaming, you make the internet gods very angry, and with their router thunderbolts, they will bump you off. The free house internet – again, provided as an unnecessary courtesy by Clive and Ron – is meant for homework, email, and light use only. If you’d like to get a faster connection of your own – a connection you can choose to split with one or more of your housemates, or hog to your heart’s content – you’re welcome to do so.
8. Kitchen Things
If you plan to use things in the kitchen – pots and pans, dishes, utensils – you should bring these things with you. And if you plan to leave your kitchen appliances on the counter, you should know that the house rule is that any kitchen appliances left on the counter are available for use by anyone in the house. So if you don’t want your coffee maker used by anyone else, you should find room for it within your kitchen cabinets.
9. Of Screens and Hair
Hair falls off. This, unfortunately, is a fact of life. Many of our drains have screens so that this hair doesn’t clog the plumbing, but who likes to clean the screens? No one, which is why we all have to do it. Please clean the screens after you bathe or shave, out of a sense of courtesy and respect for the people you live with.
10. Space Heaters
The weather outside may be frightful, and while it might be delightful to use space heaters, they are not allowed. The reason is simple: they have a dreadful tendency to overload our house’s electrical system, seemingly out of spite. Using a space heater will short a fuse and then everyone will know the dirty, dreadful thing you’ve gone and done. If you find yourself persistently cold, inform Mirissa of your thermodynamically-challenged state.
11. Roof-Walking
We declare these truths to be self-evident: that no tenant shall walk on the roof.
12. Bicycles!
If you have a bicycle, please hang it in the bicycle area downstairs. Bicycles that aren't hung up are a hazard (someone could trip and fall over them), and may obstruct the exit in an emergency evacuation. So bicycles that aren’t hung up may be placed outside – where they can be stolen – without any warning.
13. Sponges
Leaving sopping sponges in the sink is so yesterday. The new fad is ringing them out and keeping them out of the sink when not in use. All the cool kids are doing it.
14. Trash
If you make trash in the kitchen, please don’t leave it lying around; that’s how it breeds. Put it in the trash can where it belongs.
And if you should happen to see the trash bag slipping inside the can, towards the bottom and oblivion, do your house mates a courtesy and pull it up again.
15. Recycling
Many things can be recycled – a full listing is on the inside of the kitchen door – but food simply isn’t one of them. If you have food waste, put it in the compost container, where it can happily decompose.
And that massive thing you’re about to recycle or throw away? Yes, you could try to leave it outside the kitchen, but you’ll be much cooler, richer, and better-looking if you take it down to the alley.
16. Open Doors
Doors should not be left open, swinging in the breeze. Such is the joy of burglars and vermin. So please close the door when you leave the area.
17. No Basement for Old Things
The basement is not a storage space, and should not be used as such.
18. Toilets
What goes in the toilet must be flushed; the seat that goes up must come down. It’s Newton’s Law.
19. Stove Cleaning
Make a mess on the stove? It would be a kindness to clean it up.
20. Coolness
Aware of cool events? Let the rest of us know by posting something on the house bulletin board.